Unwelcome Dental Advice

You all remember me? I wrote and published a couple books. I write satirical news articles, review boardgames, occasionally I post my thoughts about the current state of affairs? You’ve probably been wondering where I’ve been. I, too, have often wondered this. I have been far less in tuned with my social media as of late, and I do apologize for the eight of you that actually read what I write. So, here’s the skinny:

You may remember a while back (waaaaay back on May 31^st of LAST year) that I made a post about daring someone to hire me (LINK: https://unwelcomedentaladvice.blog/2025/05/31/i-dare-someone-nay-i-defy-someone-to-hire-me/). While I never did get hired around that time, I did take on some gig work. I did Rover for a while, I continued doing Amazon Flex. I even tried Door Dash. All of those sucked. In the interim, I was applying for everything under the sun and even got a few interviews where I either never heard back from anyone, or was told that they were “going a different direction.”

But finally, someone deigned to give me a chance. The US Postal Service came to the rescue, and a week ago, I graduated from the Rural Carrier Academy. Sounds fancy, doesn’t it? It isn’t.

A rural carrier, if  you aren’t familiar, works similarly to the mail carriers you probably see in your city. We drive the standard mail trucks you always see, but we don’t get uniforms. We also deliver out to the sticks where it’s a mix of “out the window” delivery and CBU’s (Cluster Box Units).

I’ve inherited a route in the south valley of Albuquerque working as a sub for the normal carrier who has off Thursdays. I get a smattering of work aside from that, usually Sunday for Amazon package day and days where people call in sick. It’s not fun work. In fact, the first day I rode solo, it took me almost the entire 8.8 hour evaluation time to complete, and that was with help. I got cocky because when I shadowed the primary carrier, we were getting done in 5 and 6 hours. In those instances, you get paid for the full 8.8 hours, even if you leave early. Sounds awesome, right? Well, that guy knows the route like the back of his hand, because he’s been doing it for years. I catch on quick, but I don’t know all the nuances.

I missed packages and had to turn around. I forgot the cluster box key IN THE BOX once and had to scramble to get it back (it’s a fine if you lose them, and shameful to have to admit it, I’m sure). Some of the boxes wouldn’t open because of all the sand and grit in them. And Thursday is a heavy mail day with tons of packages. I even had help from a guy who works an auxiliary route (2.5 hours). He took about 30 packages off my hands and I still took the full eval time. It didn’t help that it was 90 degrees out and I ran out of water by the 2/3 point. Also, I had a package pickup at a customer house (who ALWAYS has pickups) of 300 packages at 500 pounds.

By the time I got back, I was exhausted, dehydrated, and in a state of ire that I couldn’t fathom. It was the worst experience of my life, and I’ve drowned and been shot at.

And I’ll go back and do it again next week, if only to see packages like this:

Anywho, now that I’m established and have a semblance of a schedule, I can more regularly update this site. That said, here’s a picture of my sock thief, Dwight, doing Dwight things. Enjoy your weekend!