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[From the Archive] Confused Parent Doesn’t Understand What Child’s Permission Slip Even Says
Preface: This was written like seven years ago. Midwest City, OK – An area woman was left beleaguered and confused by a permission slip given to her daughter, who attends Carl Albert High School, this morning. Karen Caldwell, a shoelace eyelet diameter measurer in Midwest City, cursed aloud as her child, Samantha, presented her with Continue reading
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III-I-I-XXXIII
This is the first chapter of the first book of set three. Confused yet? You won’t be when everything is published and you can read them all in order. Trust the process. Book III-I is entitled No Return. This will be the last teaser I give for a while, since I’ve only written the four Continue reading
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Greetings Cards
Sometimes I wish I’d gotten into the Greetings Cards business. Not necessarily Hallmark, but my own small business making cards with a little be less of a… positive message. A buddy of mine and I almost pulled the trigger on it, but I felt like I was doing all the creative work, so I backed Continue reading
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II-I-VI-XVII
So, like last week, I wanted to share something I’ve written before. This is the first chapter of a different book (but all part of the same overarching story), II-I: The Creeping Dark. Please, read it, eviscerate it, leave me feedback (you may have to sign up for an account to leave notes). Or DM Continue reading
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I-I-V-I
Preface: I wanted to show that I’m not just a guy who writes funny stuff. This week, I’m revealing the first chapter of a book I’ve been working on (one of four that have been in heavy editing for a couple years). The book is currently titled Departure, but the name is subject to change. Continue reading
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Baseball Replaced as America’s Pastime
Since 1858, baseball has dominated as “America’s Pastime.” It’s an activity that has been enjoyed by millions of people, both young and old, and is televised across the nation. Baseball, which was invented by New York House Representative George Santos, currently leagues 30 teams between six divisions, and each team plays 162 games a season. Continue reading
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Soft Drink Mayhem in Charleston
Charleston, SC – Tragedy struck earlier this week, on what most residents of the coastal town of Charleston thought was an ordinary night. What began as an innocent college mixer turned into a bloodbath and destruction spree for the ages as the Kool-Aid Man, a commercial icon made popular in the 80s, went what witness Continue reading
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Disney Reimagines the Aliens Versus Predator Series
With Disney’s acquisition of 21st Century Fox having been completed in March of 2019, many fans of popular movies in the Alien franchise have wondered what the future of their favorite xenomorphs holds. The most recent Alien movie to hit theaters was Covenant in 2017. It was the last movie to feature an actual alien Continue reading
About Me
Armed Forces Veteran. Writer. Father of several demon-child rescue animals. Milwaukee Brewers fan. Loather of the human condition.
I was born and raised in the wintry lands of Wisconsin (Milwaukee, West Bend, Oconomowoc), but spent 15 years in the service of the United States Air Force, deploying and living in many other regions of the country and world.
The first time someone told me I was a “hell of a writer” was when I was a young Senior Airman in the Air Force and got in trouble for writing a blog on MySpace about the “miserable people of the ### Squadron. I wrote it like a late night infomercial with testimonials that ranged from hilarious to disgusting. I was very nearly demoted for the work and forced to remove it from the site.
After that, I started writing satire news articles like one might find on The Onion. I typed them out and distributed them to coworkers like a weekly newsletter. Some of those articles are posted here.
Eventually, I moved from satire to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and have written four [as of yet unpublished] books in what I hope to be a long-standing series inspired heavily by Stephen King’s “The Dark Tower” saga.
I currently live in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Unwelcome Dental Advice 