Sure, man, I thought you were funny as the “you can do eeeeet” guy in The Waterboy. I had a chuckle when you briefly showed up as the slumlord in Grandma’s Boy. You even had some amusing bits as a bumbling bellhop in Home Alone 2. Yet no amount of two-bit Hollywood roles that your SNL friends threw you can save your actual human character, you festering, worm-infested, wretched human waste.
For those of you who don’t know, this splintered wooden dildo masquerading as a comedian urged, last week, urged the U.S. to consider reinstating the draft in the wake of our “conflict” with Iran.
Military service isn’t something I often joke about. I don’t take it lightly. I was in the Air Force for 15 years. Most of that time was post 9-11. I’ve been deployed probably 25 times (though none for more than 120 days at a time). I’ve been shot at with mortars, had to carry around a rifle while trying to do maintenance on aircraft, and was present when they loaded American flag covered caskets into the cargo bay of the AC-130H I deployed with. I missed Christmases with my then-wife; I wasn’t there when my father died. I missed a lot because I was off serving my country.
So, to see a “celebrity” – and that’s a term I use loosely with shitstains like Rob Schneider, a man who is less amusing than some of the diarrhea I’ve had in my 46 years. A man who is only popular because Adam Sandler felt sorry for him – call for a military draft to be instated makes me more than a little irate. Did you know Rob Schneider has never served in the Armed Forces? He wasn’t even in the ROTC when he was in college. Bonus fact, this useless piece of foreskin didn’t even GRADUATE college. The most he’s done for the military is go on a few USO tours for deployed troops.
How disappointed would you have been if you served overseas and were given leave to attend a USO tour and your entertainment was the guy who played Deuce Bigelow? I would have begged to step on a landmine.
It’s pretty easy for Shitlips Schneider to call for a draft when he’s 62 and well beyond the age range of being drafted in the first place. Hell, even the enlistment age, which used to be 36 and has recently been changed to 42, is well beyond his age (https://abcnews.com/Politics/army-extends-maximum-recruitment-age-42-allowing-older/story?id=131411519). Not that the army could use a scrawny, conservative dick-nose like Schneider anyhow, but to call for a draft when you have never had an inkling to serve yourself is pretty asshole-y. I don’t wish being drafted onto anyone.
So, go fuck yourself, Rob Schneider. Take your “Liberal Tears” bourbon that probably tastes of homeless person’s shoe leather and shove that bottle right up your stupid ass. I’m glad your daughter hates you, baby-dick. You win the “Asshole of the Month” award for March.

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