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Shower Thoughts
Have you ever just been sitting around, minding your own business – maybe you’re reading the news, watching a television show, or picking your nose – and you suddenly have the weirdest thought come through your brain? These are usually what Reddit refers to as “shower thoughts.” You know the ones: a fleeting moment of Continue reading
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Vote
When I was younger, I thought very little of voting. I always just rooted for the candidates that my parents rooted for, because I was young and stupid. My parents typically leaned to the right and thought that Reagan would save us all with trickle down economics. Gods, I was stupid for believing in the Continue reading
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Avocado Toast Has Ruined You All!
If you live on the Internet like I do, you’ve probably seen headlines and complaints on forums like Reddit about how Millennials and Gen Z-ers can’t afford to pay off student loans, or they can’t afford to purchase homes because they buy too much avocado toast or some other shit. I tire of these headlines Continue reading
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America’s Pastime and Legendary Bad Calls
I’ve had over 12 hours to stew on this and read through trolling comments about it on Reddit. While I’m not typically a conspiracy theorist, I’ll openly admit that I think officiating (read: umpiring) for certain sports with certain teams is absolutely rigged. Case in point: last night’s Brewers vs. Yankees game at American Family Continue reading
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Support Work
A few weeks back, I wrote a short story for college titled You, You, You Otter Know. It was an absurdist piece that, admittedly, very few people in my class (including my professor) really understood. I’ve since edited it to add a few more pages (go back and check if you haven’t read it since Continue reading
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For Mikey
I just lost one of my best friends, Mike Adair, the other weekend. After a battle with Leukemia and subsequent immunocompromising from chemo, Mike suffered several lung infections and a stroke. His family took him off life support and he passed two hours later. In commemoration of our long-time friendship, I wanted to dig up Continue reading
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[From the Archives] Disgruntled Piñata Maker Imprisoned
Carlos Santiago, 25, of West Bend, Wisconsin, was arrested this morning for several counts of “criminally stuffed piñatas” that were shipped out late last month. Santiago, now a former employee of Pico and Sons’ Piñatas, was reported to have stuffed several of the festive toys with what police deem “inappropriate materials.” Jennifer Madigan, mother to Continue reading
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You, You, You Otter Know
You, You, You Otter Know This post has been edited to match the assignment I did for my class. This is the second draft of this story. “Preposterous,” Olivia retorted. “I simply won’t consider it! Nope! Not for one moment!” Her cheeks were flushed and redder than a baboon’s backside. Olivia, a chubby but adorable Continue reading
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A Supplement for “II-I: The Creeping Darkness.”
Deities and Religion: This is supplemental content pertaining to the chapter provided recently, titled “II-I-VI-XVI.” Religion on this yet unnamed world takes many forms. Some people worship their gods in temples and churches, while others worship in solitude at shrines. Out of the six worshipped deities, only two – Llendras and Nesperia – have an Continue reading
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II-I-VI-XVI
The last time I posted a chapter from this book, I stated it was chapter one. The more I look at it, the more I consider it a prologue, and therefore this will be the actual first chapter. A chill wind blew through the courtyard of Obsidian Citadel, home to the ruler of the Vekh Continue reading
About Me
Armed Forces Veteran. Writer. Father of several demon-child rescue animals. Milwaukee Brewers fan. Loather of the human condition.
I was born and raised in the wintry lands of Wisconsin (Milwaukee, West Bend, Oconomowoc), but spent 15 years in the service of the United States Air Force, deploying and living in many other regions of the country and world.
The first time someone told me I was a “hell of a writer” was when I was a young Senior Airman in the Air Force and got in trouble for writing a blog on MySpace about the “miserable people of the ### Squadron. I wrote it like a late night infomercial with testimonials that ranged from hilarious to disgusting. I was very nearly demoted for the work and forced to remove it from the site.
After that, I started writing satire news articles like one might find on The Onion. I typed them out and distributed them to coworkers like a weekly newsletter. Some of those articles are posted here.
Eventually, I moved from satire to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and have written four [as of yet unpublished] books in what I hope to be a long-standing series inspired heavily by Stephen King’s “The Dark Tower” saga.
I currently live in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Unwelcome Dental Advice 